Archive | November 2016

I am Terrified of Everything because Everything and Everyone is Trying to kill me and my Children (Dealing with Anxiety while being a mom)

I am a self-admitted worrywart. I admit it but I am definitely not the first to diagnose myself with this  problem. I am beyond a worrywart, I am one of the unlucky anxiety-ridden people who often seek out assistance from therapist or pharmacists. I have a tendency to make things much more difficult on myself, so I deal with day to day anxiety without any prescriptions or much help at all.

While I have been an anxious person since I was a child, it seems that having children has only increased my obnoxious tendency to fear the world around me. I thought once my children grew out of infancy, that I too would grow out of whatever it was that I was so nervous about. However, this is not the case. When I take the kids camping, I fear ticks which cause Lyme disease, I fear mosquitoes because of the Zika virus, and I fear bears because THEY’RE BEARS! It doesn’t mean I am going to deny my children the experience of camping and hiking and exploring nature, but there will always be a little voice inside my head that reminds me of potential hazards.

Then there are car rides and long trips. Alfred Hitchcock never learned to drive and hated being in cars  because of the likely chance of a car accident.Car accidents are so common that it would be ridiculous not to be afraid of driving in them or riding in them. Again, I can’t keep my kids from taking road trips across the country simply because of the risk, because otherwise I am doing them a disservice from missing all of the best parts of life that I am trying so hard to preserve.

I am also terrified of dented cans which can expose us to botulism, as well as other risky food situations. Amazingly, I fed my kids peanut butter and sushi at a young age. I cannot explains my reasoning for anything because I do not believe I am being completely reasonable most of the time.

The most recent fear I had to overcome this week was general anesthesia. My son needed to be put under because quite a number of his teeth needed work. He is the first kid, which means we made dental mistakes and now we are dealing with them. Since he was so fussy while still awake, they had to dose him with some night night gas. I was completely against it and have been to four previous dentists who suggested it. I have read about so many children dying or suffering brain damage from anesthesia at the dentist that it was a definite no-go. The problem was that this poor kid’s teeth were only getting worse because the damage had already been done and there was no reversing it. I too had a lot of teeth issues when I was a child and I feel my crappy genetics were partly to blame as well. I am not an anti-vaccine person. In fact, I believe science is magical and I would never deny my children their vaccinations because  even if the autism risk was true (which it’s not) I would rather have a kid with autism than a kid who died from something preventable.

Anyway, after finding a dentist and practice I completely trusted. I booked the appointment and nervously counted the days. I dreaded this so much, I could not sleep the night before at all. Here I am the next day and I am so happy to report that it all worked out fine. He did great. The dentist did great and the anesthesiologist did great. I wanted to share this story because when I was googling experiences of children going to the dentist and receiving general anesthesia, it was all the worst possible outcomes. I am a googler. Any pain or strange feeling I have, I immediately start looking up to see how long I have to live. It is a terrible habit and I am trying to stop. I don’t do it nearly as much but it’s still too often.

I admit, I am a worrywart. More than a worrywart, but I am also a mom and what mom doesn’t worry?