It has been months since my last post, and boy have things changed. Since then, I have left my job, rented out my house, moved out of state and started a new life with my children, ex-husband and his new wife. It seems that when I tell people that I have picked up and moved 1200 miles to live with my ex-husband and his new wife, I get two responses; “What is wrong with you? is this a joke?” and the semi-insincere “You moved your entire life so that your children could be near their father? that is so nice of you, you are quite the human being”. The truth is, I needed a change, the kids needed a change, and my ex-husband is one of my best friends. The fact that he is married to someone new (who shares my name, by the way, that always gets a nice gasp, yes, he’s basically a feminine version of Ron Swanson) is completely irrelevant.
So after spending a month in my new home, I must say, it’s pretty much an awesome situation. I found a new job, live in an amazing apartment, my kids are super happy, and the entire household is getting along famously. Yes, some may find it strange to have a family dinner,and have family outings with this situation, and even to genuinely like the new wife, but I don’t know how to explain to other people how easy it really can be. My situation is not like everyone’s, and I am highly aware of that fact. I happened to have married someone at a young age, who was my best friend, and who I thought would be a good guy to have kids with. I was right. My kids are the ideal children, with their intelligence, beauty and kindness, they got a good mix of genetics. So, in my opinion, I got the sperm, had the babies, I’m done. It may seem cold hearted, but I never said I was warm and fuzzy about marriage, love or romantic relationships in general.
Some may find that being “done” with him, means going our separate ways completely, but he’s been my buddy for nearly a decade, and we share children, we are stuck with each other now.
The point may be, to stop worrying about what family and friends consider “normal”. I never understood people who stayed in a marriage “for the kids”. The “kids” are going to hate the anger, tension, and misery that comes with unhappy mommies and daddies. The trick is to stick together as a team, with no real rules other than harmony.
We live in a country where things are always changing, sometimes it seems as if we are regressing as a society, but there are always moments of clarity that make us remember the good in humans. So, it shouldn’t matter if there is a family with two daddies, a family with two mommies, siblings that were born from different parents and entirely different countries, a group of friends that have come together in a familial way, The entire point of a “modern family” should be there are no rules, just comfort, love and a good laugh.