When your friends don’t get that you can’t just go out.

When you are in your twenties and have children, everything changes. I am sure people who wait to have children in their thirties and forties have problems, but perhaps not the same ones. I became a mother at the tender age of 24, and the first of my friends to enter into parenthood. Since I am the only one to have children, I feel like I am a bit of a bummer sometimes. When my friends from college visit, it seems like I have become a boring old mom who only talks about diaper brands and the milestones that my kids are reaching. What happened to the witty, sparkling, and daring 21-year-old that would drink whisky out of a blender and walk down the dorm hallway without a shirt? Well, apparently she became an adult and, more importantly, she became a mother.

Personally, I am perfectly content with the fact that I don’t do the same immature things I did when I was in college. It gets kind of sad when you reach a certain age and are still partaking in the same jackass-ery. I am also thrilled to have two, in my opinion, amazing children. Everyday is satisfying and fulfilling, and I never regret having my little bugs. That being said, I do have that guilt every once in a while. The guilt basically consists of spending time with friends but not being the same person that I used to be. The funny thing about all of this is that I know my friends adore my children. They may not be ready for their own yet, but they think it is great that I have mine.

One of my friends does have a child. A few years ago he was dating a former girlfriend of mine and got her pregnant. They decided to get an abortion, and shortly after he broke up with her. The guy went to Afghanistan( he’s in the military) for seven months and right before he returned, I discovered that girl had a baby. For nine months, this girl faked an abortion and hid a pregnancy. She had no intention of telling him, and yet, complained to everyone that he was a deadbeat dad. She is one crazy bitch, I know. Well, anyway, the point is that he has a son. He just turned two and he sees him for a few hours each weekend. But this is the guy who doesn’t understand that my kids are my priority. On a regular basis, he asks me to go out. Go to a movie, or have a few drinks at the bar. Go out-of-town for a shopping day. Basically a variety of things that would require me to get a babysitter. But hopefully some day in the future, not too distant, everything will be different. I can’t wait until I can go out guilt free.

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