When you’re pregnant it seems like there are a million ideas that flood your head about what kind of mother you are going to be and what exactly you will do. After having a child, I realized that most of those ideas pretty much go out the window. As I sit here in my eighth month of pregnancy with my second child, I still think about how I idealized certain things and made all of these plans, when in reality, I had no idea what I was talking about.
As I was organizing my sons clothes, something that mothers of small children have to do so often because they outgrow everything so quickly, I noticed my sons baby book sitting on the book shelf. As I took a gander at the first few pages that were filled in very good detail, I dreaded delving too deep because I knew the truth, I really hadn’t made it very far. I was so far behind on writing down milestones, updating the doctors visit information, and just adding the cute little anecdotes. I didn’t even have any photos in there. Then I stumbled upon a few baby albums that were given to me for my baby shower, and realized that there were no pictures in there either. Eeek, I feel like a terrible mother who has not been keeping up with all that sentimental crap that we should be keeping up with. I have a lot of pictures of my boy, but they are all on the computer or on camera. What can I say, in the modern world, there is no hurry to develop pictures.
The next thing I started thinking about was the mommy and me classes that I swore I would go to once he was almost a year. For some reason I was thinking it would be more fun for him if he was a little older, well he is now 15 months and I have not taken him to a single one. The problem is, the class falls on the only day I have off of work, which makes it perfect, except when you are pregnant and lazy and don’t want to get moving or get your kid moving for the 9am class. Fail as a mother once again.
I also swore that I would do enriching activities with him every chance that I got, and would keep him away from the television until he was at least three. Well, we finger paint quite a bit and he also likes for me to read to him quite often, but he also enjoys watching television every day when I just feel like relaxing, his favorite shows? reruns of the original Beverly Hills 90210 and Melrose Place, Seinfeld, I Love Lucy and Gilmore Girls. We don’t have cable so he really just brings me DVD cases of what he wants to watch that particular day.
I swore that I would never get my kid one of those leash things. Now that I have a toddler that constantly wants to walk around in every store, I am starting to consider it.
So I had all of these ideas of what kind of mother I was going to be, but the truth is, all of those minor things don’t really matter. Being a good mother is really just about loving your child and making them safe and happy. So maybe we should take it easy on ourselves.